Painting Frustration

16 - Painting Frustration

"Write about something that's frustrating you."

     Have you ever experienced doing something but you just can't get it right? You just try and try, but still, your effort is of no use. It is just really frustrating. You know, that feeling you get, when, you're really pumped up to do it and excited, and you're really think that you can do it, but once you're doing it, you realize that it's actually harder that you thought.

     Well, lately, I have been trying to paint. I'm currently trying to paint a self portrait, but the thing is, I just can't get it right. It  is actually harder than I expected. At first, I was already frustrated because I can't think of what kind of painting style I should go for. I really wanted to do realistic but given the time that we have left to do it, I was thinking that maybe it is not such a good idea. I thought of doing something that more like pop art or something, since it would be faster, but, I still ended up going for realistic. I just really wanted to challenge myself, and because of that, I'm even more frustrated because I can't get it right. I thought it would be easier, but it isn't. I mean, I painted it digitally first, and it turned out pretty cool, I guess. It is harder to paint it traditionally. Very hard, indeed. I guess I kind of did ask for this. Well, there's no point in going back now, I've already started on it. The only thing left to do is, as The Robinsons would say it, "Keep moving forward." Still thought, It was easier when I was painting it digitally. See, I wasn't even trying to hard when I did it digitally, I was just playing around, I guess. Then, eventually it turned out pretty good. Here take a look. 

I made digital self portrait of me,
 how vain does that sound? LOL

     It only took me about an hour to paint that in photoshop, but it's already been two days and I'm still not close to painting that as a traditional oil painting. I'm not even sure if it looks like me (by it, I mean in the traditional painting). I hope I can make this thing work. Wait, I just realized something. When, I was painting it in photoshop, I did not restrict myself or force myself to follow anything. I basically just let myself go crazy with it. Maybe that's why or how I made it work the first time. I guess, I was just over thinking this. I think that, maybe if I just go with the flow and now think about it too much, like I did the first time, maybe, just maybe, I could make this work.

     Wow! I never really thought that I would figure this out while writing. So, the secret is to just let yourself go with it, I guess. Now, I'm excited to paint again. Oh well, I hope I can do this. I got my fingers crossed. Well, not really, because I can't paint if my fingers are crossed. Or can I?